Know thyself- through yoga we aim to learn our true nature, and
mediation is one part of this journey.
I’ve
been practicing meditation as long as I’ve been practicing yoga asana.
Through practice I've found that meditation is like training the focus muscles of the brain. As well as being more calm, I’m
unquestionably more focused when I’ve been practicing. We use strength
resistance to train our muscles, cardio to increase the capacity of our lungs
and hearts... meditation is training for the mind.
What is the mind, really, and what influence does it have over our sense of self?
The
mind, or more specifically, the brain is continuously sensing the flux of the outside and internal world, modifying
our working understanding of it all, and governing our ever-changing feelings
and behaviour. Through all this it can modify our phenomenological sense of self...
The
historian Drew Faust said it
well:
"We create
ourselves out of the stories we tell about our lives, stories that impose
purpose and meaning on experiences that often seem random and discontinuous. As
we scrutinize our past in the effort to explain ourselves to ourselves, we
discover, or invent, consistent motivations, characteristic patterns,
fundamental values, a sense of self. Fashioned out of our memories, our stories
become our identities."
Through
introspection I would try to pick apart my own mind- how it sensed the world
and the underlying experiences and motivations that influenced my perceptions
and actions.
I
was left thinking- was this really all there was to me? Was I simply a lifetime
sum of experiencing streams of thoughts and sensations from my internal and
external world? Or, even more simplistically, a combination of what I’m feeling
in the present moment. Either way there is constant change.
Because
of meditation this all started to change.
There
are a number of different meditation styles within the yogic tradition. Open monitoring
is one; it's a style where one becomes less identified with the
fluctuations of the mind. We practice cultivating awareness of thoughts,
feelings and sensory perceptions. We remain attentive but with a sense of
dispassion; free of judgment or selective focus. This is in contrast to focused
attention styles of meditation where the focus of meditation is an object, most
commonly the breath.
For
me these meditation styles aren't mutually exclusive. My practice starts by
placing focus on the breath. The shift from my typical mode of thinking to a
state of observation is to great a leap; I need something to bridge the
transition. Focusing on the breath allows me to step back from the
flow of mental "chatter" and fluctuating sensory pre-occupations,
and instead use one object of attention to anchor into the present moment.
From there my focus can slowly widen- thoughts and sensations come and go
while I practice remaining uninvolved and simply aware.
During open monitoring we take the role of the observer- watching the fluctuations of mind. This is reminiscent of the homunculus argument...
The homunculus (Latin for small man) is an observer in our heads that watches our cognitive processes. This likely seems an odd proposition- a man inside our heads. However, it's a metaphor for an intelligent agent that observes the processes of the mind.
The homunculus argument goes
back to Descartes, who suggested that the homunculus was
the soul, and that the soul is necessary for consciousness. He even
suggested that it had location- the pineal gland. Because of its privileged
position in the middle of the brain it could observe the ongoing cognitive
processes.
In
the yoga sutras a dualistic perspective similar to the homunculus is suggested.
Our consciousness is distinct from the mind, body, and environment.
Specifically, the distinction is
between consciousness and what can be perceived.
Do I have a homunculus in my head, a "see-er", an intelligent agent that's perceiving all this?
The
problem with the homunculus is that he, as an intelligent agent,
would also require his own consciousness, his own homunculus. Within the
homunculus would be another, and within that another- with infinite regression
of homunculi.
The
homunculus argument is typically considered a fallacy. For example, the
contemporary philosopher Daniel Dennett is well known for
denouncing the theory. In his work he calls it the Cartesian theatre model
of consciousness, and argues against an 'end point' of cognitive
processing where the mind meets awareness.
Within
the yoga sutras it appears that Patanjali, also, suggested that consciousness
was more than just the observer of the mind. Instead it controls and
illuminates its processes (sutras 4.18 & 4.19). Although, at times we
can become absorbed within the fluctuating thoughts and feelings of
the mind. Open monitoring meditation is a means by which we can step back
from this absorption and begin to abide in our awareness.
Here we find the self. The self is consciousness. It isn't material matter it is devoid of content. It can't be seen because it is the seer. It never changes because the act of being conscious does not change. Instead it's the objects of our awareness that fluctuate and imbue our existence with different experiences.
When we are not preoccupied with this ever-changing nature of experience and instead enter into a state of absolute awareness, one can find asamprajnata-samadhi. It's defined as the highest state of yoga- the ultimate state of awareness in which nothing can be discerned but the pure self (2).
Have I found asamprajnata-samadhi?
Not yet, but I'm learning to experience my mind in a newfound
way. Its ever-changing thoughts, feelings, and memories are not so intertwined
with my sense of self.
It’s an interesting switch in perception
because I’ve often associated my sense of self with the fluctuations of the
mind. For example, there have been times in my life when I’ve felt angry,
frustrated, hurt, or shy. Sometimes I’ve started to believe they’re characteristic
of me- I’ve started to identify with them.
But none of these feeling are me, and none of
the thoughts that gave rise to these feeling are me. These functions of the
mind are not the core essence of my self. But I can experience them, just like
I can experience the taste of coffee or the chill of a winter wind. There is no
need to identify with any, feeling, thought, etc. because these are just
fleeting sensations.
This has been an amazing shift in perception that
I’ve taken into my day-to-day life. I’ve found that when I’m not caught up in my
thoughts and emotions, I have more space to be present and attentive in my day
to day tasks and less emotionally reactive in my relationships. I’m definitely
not an enlightened human free of periodic zone outs or regrettable emotional
reactions- but I’ve seen improvements and I feel happier. This keeps me
practicing.
I really do recommend practicing meditation. What do you
have to lose? Well, maybe just your current sense of self.
A modification of this post has been featured over on Elephant Journal: How to use meditation to strengthen your inner observer
References
(1) Shapers of Southern History:
Autobiographical Reflections ed. J.B. Boles. 2004,
Georgia, United States: University of Georgia Press , p220
(2)
Bryant, E. F. (2009). The Yoga
Sutras of Patanjali: A New Edition, Translation, and Commentary New York: North Point Press. p
564.